I just scratch another thing off my to-do list when the phone rings. Whilst I pick up, I remember that I haven’t replied to that app-message. During the conversation I suddenly feel I haven’t peed in a while and take my conversation to the bathroom to relieve my full blatter. When I return to the livingroom, I notice the soapy water in the sink that got cold, as I started doing the dishes two hours ago.
Somehow I have a funny perception of efficiency. What I got, is that life is short, there is a lot to do and a purpose to fulfil, and the clock is ticking. Don’t waste your time, seems to be the anthem. It takes me, this belief. It takes me on a ride to forgetfulness of what is truly important. It clutters my mind and clarity. And most of all, it disconnects me from my heart, from what what makes me sing.
It’s common, rushing. Yet, it’s not normal. We all carry beliefs that pressure us into moving faster, better, higher. It’s this very speediness that takes us away from our core, from ourselves, and we become empty. We feel a need to fill this emptiness, and move even faster.
Oh, what a waste of our precious time.
It’s a loss of self, a loss of soul, that carries this collective energy of speed and pressure. It’s a wounding of trust, of cycle, of life. It’s a distortion of our longing to live. For life doesn’t ask anything from us. We don’t need to do anything to live. We don’t need to force the life-energy to move. All is here already. It’s our wounding that needs tending. It’s our pain that needs time and care.
In this light, patience is our biggest virtue. Our most valuable practice. The most wholesome way to spend our time, is in patience. Patience with what is needed, patience with our heart’s longing. Patience with all lost parts of ourselves.
Trevor Hall sings so beautifully:
Mama, well, she told me time is such a wonderful gift You're not running out You're really running in Confusion clouds the heart but it also points the way Quiet down the mind The more the song will play
So, you can't rush your healing Darkness has it's teachings Love is never leaving You can't rush your healing
You can answer these questions for yourself to create more space for your heart. - What do you enjoy doing? - Do you have a longing to spend more time in nature, with friends, crafting, playing?
- Who can you invite to join you?
- Can you make a few moment a week to do nothing? To sit, enjoy a cup of tea and challenge your belief that you have to be efficient.
- Is there are deeper part of you that needs tending to?
What does patience mean to you?